


Godmother Death

by Quandisa



Series: Fairy Tales for Lesbians [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Dark Comedy, F/F, Fairy Tale Retellings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 21:11:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13960110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quandisa/pseuds/Quandisa
Summary: Once upon a time, a mother, who already had 12 children, lay with a midwife on the 12th month of the year in labor with her 13th child. Her husband had left ahead of the frost to look for work weeks before and had not returned. As she laid in bloody anguish she cursed the child before it even drew its first breath.





	Godmother Death

Once upon a time, a mother, who already had 12 children, lay with a midwife on the 12th month of the year in labor with her 13th child. Her husband had left ahead of the frost to look for work weeks before and had not returned. As she laid in bloody anguish she cursed the child before it even drew its first breath.

The midwife told her it was a fine looking girl, but the mother refused to hold the babe.

“But mum! The poor thing will starve if you don-na feed it!”

“Then she will only know the comfort of death! Send the little angel back, for there is no peace in this place!”

The door opened with a freezing gush of wind, a tall figure in a dark cloak walked in.

“Is that my husband?”

“I fear not madame.”

“Who are you?”

“I am Death.”

“Have you come for me, at last?” The woman hoped.

“No. I will be the child’s Godmother. I may render all equal, but I will promise to bring Fame and Fortune to the child.”

“That’s a start I suppose. Fine. Have the crying beastie.”

“Not now. I will come for her when it is time.”

The midwife was very confused for she heard the woman’s voice, but not the other part of the conversation she was having with the wind.

But the child lived, and grew. When she came of age Death came and took her to the woods, showing her a herb of azule hue.

“Now child, you shall receive my gift for you. With my help you shall be a famous doctor. If I stand-”

“Why do you hide under that cloak? Are you gross looking? You sound pretty. Did I mention I’m in the heat of puberty?”

“Focus! You will be the most famous and rich doctor in the world but you must heed my words!”

“Fine! I just think about girls all day.”

“Whenever you are called to a sick person I will appear to you. If I stand at the sick person’s head, you may say with confidence that you can make them well again; then give him some of this herb, and they will recover. But if I stand at the sick person’s feet, they is mine, and you must say that they are beyond help, and that no physician in the world could save them. But beware of using this herb against my will, or something very bad will befall to you.”

“I heard there are these haram things in India. Is it true those girls dance without their aprons on?”

“Did you hear me girl?!”

“Yes! If you give them head they get happy! A foodjob means they die! Got it! Geez! I could rub myself against a tree right now!”

“If only the hands of Time could have aligned better.”

“Is time a girl?”

Godmother Death set the blonde up in a small house, but word spread quickly of the doctor will flawless predictions, and she gained wealth and fame. She bought many houses to see her many patients and many female friends.

It came to pass, as it often does, that a queen fell ill, and the famed physician was called upon. Standing at the foot of the bed was her Godmother. A peak of pale jaw peeking out from her shroud.

The queen was lovely even in the grips of illness. With no partner or child to take her place the whole land held its breath waiting on the doctor’s word. _If only I could fool Death once! She’ll be furious, I know, but I’m her only god-daughter! And look at me! I’m amazing! She’ll have to forgive me! I wonder if I can buy her something from the fortune I would get for healing the queen. Shoes? Does she have feet? Hmm, I still want to get under that robe._

So, the woman said the queen would live and fed her the herb. The queen made a quick and full recovery, and the doctor was richly rewarded for her efforts, even gaining the confidence of the queen. However, not everyone was pleased.

Death waited for her in her home, one of her female friends fallen in the kitchen.

“Aw, why that one?! I liked her!”

“You betrayed me! You saw me at her feet! I’ll give you this one as your my god-daughter, but if you defy my once more I shall end your merriment and take you for myself!”

“Sounds like you’re jealous. Why don’t take off that scary sheet of yours and I’ll see if I can buy you a nice pair of shoes. I’m sure you’re feet hurt after a long eternity of killing people.”

“All fall equal to me. All crumble before me.”

“So, you’re more of a jewelry type?”

“Do not cross me again, child. I only have so much patience. And your stupid whore died of syphilis!”

“Well, I’m boned. So are a couple of girls in the village. Shoot! You could have said something earlier!”

“I am last minute business.”

“Yeah, no duh! Now I got to hunt down more of that stupid flower! Couldn’t you have picked a an easier flower to find, or grow?”

Death left the house.

“You don’t have to go,” the doctor whispered, feeling alone again. “Hey, wait!” She threw open the door. “THERE’S A DEAD WOMAN IN MY KITCHEN!”

The queen’s men were very interested in that story.

But the doctor’s fame and wealth only grew. Her’s was a name whispered of with awe all around the world. And she was the honored guest at many grand halls, but the beautiful queen, whose life she had saved kept a special chamber for her always at her palace.

One night the queen fell ill again, and the physician was summoned. Once more Death stood at the foot of the Queen’s bed. This time the stakes were higher for the rumor had it that the queen wished to marry the talented doctor and have her rule by her side.

She should have heeded her Godmother’s warning, but the queen’s beauty and the prospect of ruling a great land, that she slipped the herb twixt the maiden’s lips.

An icy grip took the doctor’s wrist plunging her into darkness before her cry of joy could be born.

“I warned you! I will not be tricked twice!” The flickering lights of the night sky surrounded them. “These are life-lights of humanity. See how they burn, and extinguish.”

“Where is mine?”

From the long sleeve a hand produced a tiny, brightly burning flame on the brink of burning itself out.

“Once it goes out, I’m yours forever. Right?”

Death nodded.

“Good.” The blonde blew out her own light, and threw herself around the cloaked figure. “I finally get to hug you. Hug me back, _Godmother.”_

“I am inexperienced with human affection.”

“Oh, I’m gonna teach you. We have forever to learn.

“Now off with that hood!”

Death moved away.

“Now what?”

“I don’t know what I look like. Some live in mortal fear of me.”

“Blah, blah, you’re an emo baby. I got it! Off with your head!” Flinging back the hood relieved hair of midnight blue and eyes the vibrant color of a foreign sea.

“Wow.” The woman stood in awe, which annoyed her host. “Blue, I always wanted them to be blue.” Carefully, she reached out and touched a sunken cheek. “Thought they’d be red. You know, to be scary. But then I realized you weren’t trying to scare anyone. You were trying to help them.

“Life is pain, sorrow and toil. You tried to spare me from that, but you bring relief of it to everyone. Truly, you are kindness. Although, why cast me as your enemy?”

Not meeting the gaze she answered. “To remind me. Besides, it was the only thing that I could think of to bring you wealth.”

“Besides watching me in the tub.”

“I never watched you bathe.”

“No, there were plenty who would have paid to do so. You like to stalk me around the forest, and in town. Tell me. Pants or skirt? I think I look good in both.”

“I was merely doing my job. If you happened to be there a glace could tell me if you were doing alright.”

“My own guardian angel on obsidian wings. Who was jealous of all my special friends.”

“You mean your floozies. It wasn’t wise to flirt with disease so.”

“I wasn’t flirting with that. I was flirting with you. You’re the dirty old woman who bought a baby and left it until she was horny teenager who would have done anything for you. You’re the worst kind of predator too. You just gave me a boner and an easy job. You were suppose to ask about my boobs.”

“I’m not-”

“Sh.” The blonde pressed her finger to Death’s lips. “I get it. You love everyone, you big softie. But they hate you, so you’re lonely in this place. But not anymore. I’ve never feared, or hated you. How could I? You were the only one who ever cared for me. My own mother wanted to give me up to you. I'm glad she waited. Instead of a little girl, I’m a full grown woman now. Now, why do you take me to your place and I’ll teach you everything you need to know about what women need.”

“Uh, okay.”

She Death and the doctor walked to Death’s castle to stay together forever, far from trouble and ruin.

**Author's Note:**

> Reenie has a big mouth no matter where she is.  
> I tried to stick a little closer to the original Fairy Tale this time, but added humor and romance to support the ending. Sometimes fairy tales are totes random, and I didn't think I could get away with that writing to modern audience.


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